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Question: Disappointment Pt. 2

Q&A #6

This one is a follow-up to yesterday’s post on disappointment. I don’t usually re-post blog comments to the email, but I’d like to get this one out to a wider audience hoping for better suggestions.

And this is also a good time to point out that there are many comments and questions posted on the blog portion of the webpage that do not appear in the emails. Check out www.dailybuddhism.com and look at the “comments” section on the right-hand side of the page. Comment if you want.

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A Reader recently wrote:

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I understand that we can change our outlook on life and not let dissapointment bother us. But something I don’t understand is how this applies to others, just because some dissapointment doesn’t bother me should I still take responsibility for the attachment to those things of others? I am about to move from where I now live, I have moved from place to place my whole life so it doesn’t bother me much anymore anyway, but a friend of mine is saddened by my leaving, at moments like this what am I supposed to do? take responsibility for it and do something to stop it, or be fine with my friends suffering and move on anyway?

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My Response

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Wow, I’m in a very similar situation myself, and I know of no easy answer.

You aren’t personally suffering, but your leaving is causing suffering for others; a perfect Buddhist dilemma! I guess if it really comes down to it, we each make our own ‚Äúsuffering.‚Äù You are in control of your own suffering, and your friend is in control of his. You should do what you can to ease his/her suffering, but also keep in mind that everything changes; people will come into and out of your life. Don’t change your plans, do what you have to do, but also try to explain/teach/convince your friend that this is for the best and help them through their time of pain.

Yeah, I know that’s a pretty lame answer, but that’s all I’ve got. As I said, I am in the same position right now.

Anyone else have a better answer?

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